Today, readers, we're going to talk about publishing. Since I want to be an editor, I try to keep up on the changes the publishing industry is undergoing; specifically how it's adjusting to the explosion of the ebook market (which includes a dreaded s word: self-publishing).
Writers: I know that the e-publishing/self-publishing world is as intoxicating as the smell of a new book, but LISTEN for a moment.
There are rabid supporters of self-publishing, and a few of those wolves have made heinous accusations against me and my people (editors, for those readers who are feeling a leeeetle slow today).
I mean, as far as I'm concerned this a full on dynastic/species clash. Monsters vs. aliens, vampires vs. werewolves, zombies vs. unicorns. Sarah Palin vs. American History.
DO NOT, AND I MEAN NEVER, SAY THAT YOU DON'T NEED AN EDITOR. YOU DON'T HAVE A QUICK QUOTES QUILL.
Specifically, I've seen it said on the internet that editors choose books based on what is or could be the next Twilight/DaVinci Code/Harry Potter clone. Like, so much commercialism? Many other editors, authors, and agents have argued against this claim, and explained why good editors are necessary. They are more intelligent and eloquent than I.
So let me present my opinion in a different form: The monologue. Three of them, to be precise.
Clone #1
Editor 1: "Could you maybe make x people an alien race? I don't know...maybe, like, make them glitter or something? Oh, and also, I want Eduardo to want to destroy Linda-Bonny-Bella while simultaneously loving her obsessively. Great. Get me those revisions by next week."
Clone #2
Editor 2: "Okay, Jimmy. Loving the cowboys. Man, are they hot or what? Yeah, I know how much you like them too...Listen, kid. Got some hard news for you. This isn't going to sell. Nope, it's just not going to sell. No one wants cowboys these days. What the people want are caves with secret paintings and religious artifacts. And labyrinthine mysteries with a few wacky murders thrown in for kicks and giggles. So let's say that the main cowboy is actually an art historian. [Thinks a moment]. Yeah, I'm liking that. Make him an art history professor. Then he needs to meet a pretty American Indian guide. Oh yeah, and her grandfather, you know, the one that raised her [wink, wink], he hid those religious artifacts somewhere for his granddaughter to find. But he can't tell either of the main characters because he's been brutally murdered on top of some hieroglyphs. Anyways, you get the picture, so vamoose. Ta!"
Clone #3
Editor 3: "I'm loving this existential quest your protagonist is having with the kitchen table and math book. It's genius.
Yeah, so I just talked with marketing, and they're asking for something with more pizzazz, right? So, I'm thinking that the kitchen table--or the math book, you choose since it's your novel--yeah, so either the kitchen table or the math book turns into a magical portal and takes the main character to a school for Magical Design. You know, avant-garde decorating ideas with a little something something extra in the making, and all that. We'll call it "Poghaus". Excellent. One more thing: Molly Painter is gonna to need a couple of trusty sidekicks. And a rich, snotty frenemy. And definitely, definitely a BIG BAD. Oh, I've got just the name. Shopradamort! Great. Whose book is gonna be the best bestseller out there? Yours is, that's whose! What, no, I can't hear you. Must be your end of the line. Send those revisions to my secretary to look over! Goodb-"
The End
NO. Just no. Not gonna happen.
Get real naysayers, and stop blaming editors for the fact that commercial publishing hasn't worked for you yet. And furthermore, I don't really care how gifted you are as a writer, YOU NEED AN EDITOR.
OH, and P dot S dot
This is what a good editor looks like:
