The other day I had to call my insurance company. Sounds like the beginning of a good joke, doesn't it? Well, this insurance company is new for me, and by "new" I mean a new experience for me to have to call them, and I wasn't sure how it would all go down. I might be mature and [kind of] self-sufficient, but I honestly don't know the first thing about insurance. And barely a thing about doctors.
So, I called the customer service hotline. Eddie answered. Oh, Eddie. If there is one thing I love, and there's not just one thing, then I would have to say that I love a good, friendly customer service rep. I find that talking to them is one of the simple pleasures of life.
We chatted about why I needed to find a doctor in my area, and how a family practitioner would do the job just fine.
He said to me, "Well, I can make a personalized directory and just send it to your email." I said that sounded great. How convenient for me!
We parted ways happy and the best of friends.
I opened my inbox and sure enough, there was the email with a personalized listing of doctors in my area. The problem was, there were only a few names in Provo. The rest were in the Salt Lake valley. Upon even further inspection, I realized that not only were there only a few doctors in Provo, but they were all at the same clinic. It had some kind of name--the kind of name that places like doctors and dentists offices have: Mountain Crest of the Green Valley clinic; White River Pediatrics; Snow-capped Mountain Dentistry. (Interesting connection I just made. Why does the medical field have such an obsession with nature? The only true connection that I can think of is that I often hurt myself when I'm in nature. And sometimes I've even needed to see a doctor. Okay, well just that one time, but let's not talk about it.)(So, is the answer to my question "money"?)
So I called the number at Nature-y Nature Name and a nice lady answered. I said, "Hi. I don't really know how this works, so you might need to walk me through it, but I need to become a new patient."
The woman on the other end said, "What do you need?" And I told her that I just needed an appointment with the doctor.
Silence.
"This is a Nursing Home, so..."
Silence.
And then I started laughing. "Wow, this is embarrassing," I said to her. Because it needed to be said. Sometimes "this is embarrasing" is actually a necessary phrase. It signals that it's okay to laugh: at me, with me, for me, next to me, whatever.
She laughed too and said, "Yeah, I can let you meet with our doctor, but we might keep you for a long longer than you wanted."
I said something in reply and hung up and laughed and laughed. And told my roommates. And laughed some more.
Oh, Eddie. Did I sound elderly, or was he just new on the job? Who knows.
I ended up calling my insurance company back and the new customer service rep laughed too when I told her the story. (I was laughing about it as I told her, though I think that if I'd been angry about it, she wouldn't have felt so free to laugh. Ya know. Customer service and all that. And another thing is, if I had that job, stories like this one would make the time go faster).
So, if the travails and pressures of life ever become too much to handle, you all know where to find me:
Country View Manor, 2901 West Center Street, Provo, UT. Eddie knows a guy who knows a guy, and he says he can get me in for real cheap.
