You Are a Failure

Just another manic Monday...except it's Wednesday.

Yo, peeps. It's been a while. All nine of you miss me a ton, I know. I get your fan mail; I even read it. Sometimes. Stop crying yourself to sleep at night and listen.

'Cuz Gadd's back.

I think it's time for another post about things that are funny. Or not funny. You decide.

Today in my soul-sucking-brainpower-draining theory class(I think the teacher calls it Eng 452: Modern Critical Theory or something like that) we had a full on verbal battle. And by we, I mean NOT ME.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't like contention. Contention is so AWKWARD.

God bless our teacher...for something. I'm sure there's something God can bless him for. I want to like him. Really, I do! He seems like a cute, eccentric old man. But I can't, repeat, cannot, accept his teaching style.

February 2, 2011 (Based on REAL and TRUE events. No postmodern critics were harmed in the making of this dialogue. Even though I tried real hard).

Professor: "Class, you are all woefully underprepared. The system has failed you."
Student 1: "So, you're saying we're stupid?"
Professor: "No, you're not stupid. The C+ I gave to all of your papers [I know right? First C+ in my entire life] means that English students in other countries actually know what they're talking about when they open their mouths. You idiots resemble widemouth bass, for crying in the non-existent bucket. Have you guys even heard of Derrida?"
Student 2: "But I just don't understand how you can grade us like this when we haven't even talked about the critic or his essay and you told us before we started that you'd be shocked if any of us actually understood him. I mean, how is that fair?"
Professor: "So you're saying that you don't think this is fair?"
Student 3: Loudly and passionately: "Well, I think that you guys should just stop worrying so much about your grades. I mean, they're not that important. You should just stop whining and pay attention. Gosh."
Professor: "I mean, I didn't even read your papers. I knew you all failed abysmally and I didn't even bother on most of them. Sometimes I just wrote, 'Tough isn't it?'"Professor chuckles to himself.
Megan to her friend: "OMG. That's what he wrote on mine!"
Friend: "Me too."
Megan shrugs. Class grumbles. So on and so forth.

Yes, this is what class was like today. I wasn't making that dialouge up. I was quoting. Ridiculous.

But you know what? I don't care. I've accepted that I'm a product of a failing educational system. And you know what? You should accept it too. You are a failure.

Then THANK your teacher for the C+ and for making you realize just how stupid you are. I mean, when you think about it, he's being totally merciful. Saves you a lot of embarrassment in the end with the whole "smart" thing.

Pssh, yeah.

Megan